Game theory online dating
“Take the thoughtfulness out of the acts and they lose much of their meaning.”Social psychologist and CEO of mental health network Psych Central John Grohol agrees.“You can’t substitute gamification for those core things people strive for,” he says.This explains why women who wait for sex usually end up finding a better match.
Zeidler and her husband seem to be.“We’re busy, working professionals,” she reiterates.
And in a world where couples spend more time with their smartphones than each other, that’s no easy feat.
If dating is a game, online dating is a game of strategy.
Kahnoodle’s “Kudos” service, which allows one partner to reward another for a romantic gesture, might foster an “exchange mentality,” a tit-for-tat view of interaction that can be harmful in romantic situations—exchange mentality is commonly seen in cases of date rape, for example.
Finkel also says relationships are supposed to be tricky.“Much of the benefit of doing considerate things is linked to the fact that those things required thoughtfulness and effort,” Finkel writes in an email.